Fasting and Depression

First off, thoughts on fasting.

Fasting isn't something I've heard much teaching about, but it is something I've done. It's very different than what I would expect. When you're fasting, it generally means that you feel very strongly about something and you want to focus on praying about it.

Let's just say it's effective. Every hunger pain points you back to where you're focusing. Every time you feel like fainting it reminds you where all your strength comes from...

I'm generally a person who discounts the importance of the body. Ones body is just a vessel for ones self...but I don't think that's really the case. My body affects me more than I realize. When it's imbalanced, it affects how I feel, and when it's whole, It does the same. Differently, but still.

Anyway, this is an encouragement to use fasting as a tool if you feel so led. Very effective focusing and grounding.

Second off, thoughts on depression.

I'm about to start an antidepressant. Been thinking of doing this for a few years, and am finally taking action. I've got the pills downstairs. Gonna start in the morning...

Depression has been a defining aspect of my life since I began following Jesus...I don't know how this is going to affect me, but if the medication is effective in alleviating some of my depressive symptoms...I don't know. I don't know what it would be like to live less depressed for an extended period of time. It sounds silly, but when you're used to the darkness, the light is scary. Now, it probably won't fix everything, but if it actually does what it's supposed to do...I don't know.

I don't like unknowns...I need to trust God. I plan to look back on this post in a few years and think "how silly of me to be afraid", but right now, that's where I'm at.