Crosses

Batter my Heart

Batter my heart, three-person'd God, for you
As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend;
That I may rise and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend
Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurp'd town to'another due,
Labor to'admit you, but oh, to no end;
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captiv'd, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly'I love you, and would be lov'd fain,
But am betroth'd unto your enemy;
Divorce me,'untie or break that knot again,
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you'enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.  -John Donne

As I was reading "Love Walked Among Us", I read this one part where the author speaks of Jesus being crucified. He paraphrases a lot of what the people said, and one of his paraphrases is basically, "You trusted God like a little child, and look where it got you."

When I read that, I realized that it was a perfectly rational accusation. It was his perfect, childlike trust that led him to the cross. But what the accusers didn't understand was that this was the best possible outcome.

Then I realized that if I fully trust God, I will be led to my own crosses. It's already happened a couple times...And that's daunting. A cross feels like death. A cross hurts. A cross feels shameful.

But it is, oddly enough, a good thing and a privilege to carry a cross. This very thing that feels most like death is the one path to true freedom and life. That was definitely true for Christ, and will be true for us too.  It's like when Paul says "Indeed I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my lord." and a couple verses later interjects "That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and my share (fellowship) in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I might obtain the resurrection of the dead." 

Fellowship in his sufferings, become like him in his death, count everything as loss. This is the path we're all called to. It will not be easy, but it will be so worth it. "The surpassing worth of knowing Christ," "the pearl of great price,""the treasure buried in the field"...It's worth the crosses we're called to. I've tasted a bit of the pain I might endure in this life of following Jesus, and it scares me to think that I might endure even worse...but I know it will be worth it. And as Paul says, in going to our cross, we'll be in fellowship with Christ in a way we couldn't have been without that cross, and that IS a happy thought.