It just struck me this morning how empty life is when lived for ones own self. I'm coming off of a period of emotional ups and downs. Seeing the future as a glorious adventure followed shortly by seeing the future as bleak and pointless. But the thing is, my future is not horribly important if I'm thinking about how it's going to affect me. My emotional state three days from now will be what it will be. I've got a God who loves me and will take care of me. I need to focus on loving him and the people around me, however I happen to be doing/feeling.
"the greatest commandment is this: love the lord your god with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. And the second is like it: love your neighbour as yourself. This sums up the law and the prophets."
That's what it's about "whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves, and take up their cross, and follow me".
The thing with God is that he takes us a lot of weird places. So if I'm worried about where I'm going to go in the future, I very likely will not want to go where God would have me go. However, if I trust him, he'll take me where he wants me. And I'll focus on being there, loving him, and loving the people around me. There's really nowhere he might not take his children. "let us go to him outside the camp, and bear the reproach he endured". It's scary outside the camp. At least from a human perspective. But that's where Jesus is. So we've got to follow him there, and forget about our own desires. Cause unless those desires are from God, fulfilling them won't satisfy us.
I know I can't live like this on my own strength. I can't. But with God, who knows? He does crazy stuff :)
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